Custom Search

Monday, June 9, 2008

"The Column" pt. 1 - Limitations


Limitations.

It's one of those funny things that's sort of hard to recognize until it's too late, and someone is completely, wholly, and unabashedly ignoring it. Like Michael Jordan playing baseball or Scarlett Johansen singing (or acting, for that matter), some people shoot for the stars, say fuck the clouds, and decide to settle on a whole 'nother planet.

Now, the other night I was at a "party," and seeing as how it was a real beehive of activity, Bateman, I had plenty of time to observe, think, and, after a 6 of Modelo, came up with the following theory.

If a guy is, say, a 4 or a 5, then when he goes out on the prowl, he's more than likely only to go after 4 or 5's, and maybe, MAYBE, a 6. But at the end of the day, he'll recognize his limitations. Michael Olowokandi knows he ain't Olojowan. The day he bags a 7/8, however, or even 9/10, by either the grace of God, or just some good 'ol stepping his fucking game up, he has then, as somebody I know once eloquently put it, gone to the "next level." And everyone knows that once you're there, then there's no turning back.

At the end of the day, if a guy's a 4 and gets rejected by an 8, then fuck it, he knows she was out of his league and he was playing with house money anyway. Just remember next time to be like Abreau and don't swing at every fucking pitch. Next.

Women, however, are a completely different story. There's plenty of 3's, 4's, and 5's out there who know good and goddamn well that the only "dimes" they're fucking with are their change from Burger King. But like Tiger on the 18th, they are completely unfazed, and in their mind's they're the shit, despite looking like something that crawled off the set of Maury and possessing an attitude that would humble mostly anyone form My Super Sweet 16.

There's plenty of these minor leaguers that are barking up the wrong tree, bear clawed and all. Many of these B-leaguers who are, say 4's, are offended at the mere thought of even being approached by a guy who's anything less than a 9. Don't even bother to try and convince anyone from the JV team that they're not cut out to play in the big leagues, they just don't give a fuck. Scrub.

In conclusion, I really hope noone's offended by this. What I'm really trying to say is, don't let your ego keep you from being happy. The male race has had it's spirits beaten enough to know who can get what. And if you don't, then your an idiot. So ladies, ladies, ladies, be the shit. Just don't be shitty. There's a difference between settling down and just plain settling.




No comments: